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Harrison Ford Must Die

By on September 20, 2019

first_imgStay on target Dear Disney, Marvel, and Star Wars, Let Directors DirectMy Complicated Relationship with Gender and Star Wars Since 1983, celebrated actor Harrison Ford has been begging for death… in Star Wars. After Han Solo was frozen at the end of The Empire Strike Back, Ford famously tried to convince George Lucas to kill the character off before the final film in the trilogy. But the gambit failed, and Ford had to waste his time playing a still-alive Solo throughout Return of the Jedi’s entire run-time.However, in 2015 J.J. Abrams gave Ford the one gift Lucas never good, a sweet death. To complete his role as the Obi-Wan of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Solo died at the hands of a fallen student of the Force he once loved. Fans may have cried over this tragic death of a beloved character, but Ford must’ve been thrilled. He was dead, finally! All he had to do was risk dying in real-life after the Millennium Falcon door crushed his leg on set.Why stop at Star Wars? In-between (allegedly) smoking enormous amounts of pot, Harrison Ford is still appearing in a lot of movies. Some of those movies are sequels to older movies he’s starred in, and that means they’re movies he can be killed off in. We can’t let an opportunity to kill Harrison Ford (in a movie) pass us by. Let’s make him the Sean Bean of dying in sequels. Here are just a few suggestions for any filmmakers reading.Blade Runner 2049We just got our first look at the upcoming sequel to the cyberpunk classic Blade Runner. Ryan Gosling plays a new Blade Runner tasked with locating Harrison Ford’s character, Rick “May or May Not be a Robot” Deckard. With a young new star already lined up, killing off Ford here would be a totally justifiable move. Hopefully, he spouts a bunch of nonsense right before he dies like Roy Batty.Indiana Jones 5First off, the world doesn’t need a second unnecessary adventure of old Indiana Jones. Even with Disney in control, it’s time to let this franchise go already. However, the one thing this upcoming fifth entry could do to justify itself is, you guessed it, kill Harrison Ford. Indy already gets into life-threatening danger on a daily basis. Just follow that to a logical conclusion. It’s either that or endure another decade of elderly whipping and snake fear.Even More American GraffitiAmerican Graffiti is the classic film that first connected Harrison Ford and George Lucas. Its nostalgic vision of 1960s California car culture not only spawned a sequel but was also a huge inspiration for the creation of Happy Days. The ending of the original revealed the future of some major characters, including those who died in Vietnam, but the fate Harrison Ford’s Bob Falfa was left ambiguous after he survives the race-ending wreck. That means there are plenty of ways to kill him in a sequel.The Fugitive 2In this big-screen reboot of the classic TV series, Harrison Ford starred as a man who goes on the run after being framed for a crime he didn’t commit. Unfortunately, in the real world, people get punished for crimes they didn’t commit all the time. They get unjustly sent to jail or even put to death. Killing Harrison Ford in a new Fugitive could actually be a great way to teach audiences about the serious problem that is the colossal failure of the criminal justice system.Air Force One TwoBetween Olympus Has Fallen, Designated Survivor, and White House Down, people do sure love to watch the federal government collapse. What a wonderful escapist fantasy. So the time is now to bring Harrison Ford back as President James Marshall… and then kill him to raise the stakes. Make Harrison Ford Dead Again!Regarding Henry 2Regarding Henry is an uplifting story about a driven lawyer who loses his memory after a being shot and rebuilds himself into a better person. It would be such a shame to make a sequel killing off a character who has already suffered so much. But Harrison Ford is in it, and J.J. Abrams wrote it, so there’s really no other option.The Young Han Solo AdventuresHarrison Ford isn’t starring in this prequel adventure starring his famous space rogue. This time newcomer Alden Ehrenreich is doing the Kessel Run or whatever. Still, just because Harrison Ford isn’t the focus doesn’t mean he can’t die. At the very least, the film should include Solo’s death in The Force Awakens, just to remind us how this all ends.last_img read more

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Will Robots Take Your Job Calculate the Risk Online

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first_img On the surface, rapidly advancing artificial intelligence seems cool. But bubbling underneath is a frightening future, in which grinning robots hand out pink slips to human workers.Just how likely are you to lose your job to an automated machine? Ask Web-based tool “Will Robots Take My Job?“—at your own peril.Developed by Mubashar Iqbal and designed by Dimitar Raykov, the site is based on a 2013 report examining how susceptible 702 occupations are to computerization.“According to our estimates, about 47 percent of total US employment is at risk,” researchers said four years ago.Be afraid. Be very afraid.Especially if you work as a telemarketer, tailor, mathematical technician, watch repairer, tax preparer, library technician, or data entry keyer—all of which are basically doomed come cyborg judgment day. We’ve covered all the places robots are likely to steal jobs in the future. Nearly a quarter of jobs analyzed in 2013 were at a 90 percent or higher probability of automation, according to Carl Benedikt Frey and Michael Osborne of the University of Oxford. One can only assume those numbers are higher now.Thinking about a change of career? This might be the right time to hang up the whistle (umpires, referees, other sports officials – 98 percent), put away the emery boards (manicurists/pedicurists – 95 percent), and return the uniform (waiters – 94 percent) in favor of something more secure.Like working as a reporter. My profession, though not the most lucrative, runs only an 11 percent risk of a robot takeover. Dancers, air traffic controllers, and cosmetologists boast the same results. But drivers might need to start mulling over their futures. “Our model predicts that most workers in transportation and logistics occupations, together with the bulk of office and administrative support workers, and labor in production occupations, are at risk,” Frey and Osborne wrote in their paper.“More surprisingly, we find that a substantial share of employment in service occupations, where most US job growth has occurred over the past decades, are highly susceptible to computerization,” they continued.There is, of course, no guarantee: Four-year-old statistics can only forecast so much. And if someone builds a working android podiatrist tomorrow, the 23rd safest occupation will suddenly be threatened.“Our findings … imply that as technology races ahead, low-skill workers will reallocate to tasks that are non-susceptible to computerization—i.e. tasks requiring creative and social intelligence,” the researchers said, adding that “for workers to win the race,” they must acquire those skills. Stay on target Review: ‘Daemon X Machina’ Has Big Robots, Small Fun on Nintendo SwitchThis Robot Is Equal Parts Lawnmower and Snow Blower last_img read more

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Got 15 Seconds and a Microwave Asics Can Customize Your Kicks

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first_img Move over, Adidas and Nike: Asics is joining the bespoke shoe revolution.The Japanese footwear maker recently introduced a new technique for creating colorful, custom midsoles.In partnership with Tayin Research & Development Co., Ltd., Asics uses microwave technology—”both speedy and sustainable,” according to the company—to produce instant soles.The in-factory process takes as few as 15 seconds, and boasts “huge potential to pave the way for decreasing environmental impact,” Asics’ blog announcement said.Choose from a “spectrum of colors” (via Asics)Currently in testing, the microwave technology could reduce energy consumption by some 90 percent, compared to the firm’s current techniques.It also has “huge potential to revolutionize” the in-store experience—i.e. You may one day be able to walk into a local sneaker store, and walk out a few minutes later with a personalized pair of kicks.Customers simply pick from a “spectrum of colors” to create their ideal palette, which gets microwaved to fuse the shades together. Then, select an upper (the entire part of the shoe that covers the foot) and watch as the two are fused together.From blue and speckled green to pink and orange to maroon and navy, the choice is yours. Watch the teaser video above for style inspiration.“The evolution of this technology could eventually give trainer enthusiasts and fashion-forward shoppers the option to customize the color of the midsole and upper on the spot,” the blog said.Asics plans to introduce the newfangled system via a handful of its footwear ranges in the future.Microwave on high for 15 seconds (via Asics)Rivals Nike and Adidas, meanwhile, have been on the cutting-edge of shoe technology for years: In 2016, they introduced actual self-lacing high-tops and biodegradable sneakers, respectively.And, this fall, Adidas is expected to launch its first mass-produced 3D-printed shoe, the premium Futurecraft 4D, which uses a digital light projection technique to shape the sole.It can’t be completed in 15 seconds, but the method promises results just as good as those made in an injection mold, with similar costs and production times.Let us know what you like about Geek by taking our survey. MIT’s Color-Changing Ink Lets You Customize Shoes, Phone CasesFacebook Introduces Customizable Avatar Stickers Stay on targetlast_img read more

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